DETROIT--Security officials have told The Schadenfreude Post that a second terrorist act is currently in progress aboard the same Delta flight that was threatened by a Nigerian terror suspect on Christmas Day. One source says this new attempt involves another Nigerian national and, further, the suspect is alleged to be utilizing a state-of-the-art natural explosive method to disable the flight.
The source tells TSP that crew and passengers became suspicious when the suspect continually rose from his seat and ran to the restroom on several occasions during the hours leading up to Flight 253 reaching its destination. As part of new security procedures, passengers are ordered not to use the restrooms during the final hour of international flights. The suspect continued to use the restroom after the pilot advised passengers of the new rule.
"Dear, Miss Flight Attendant, please let me use restroom," the suspect is alleged to have yelled. "I'm gonna blow if I don't get to the toilet."
"Terrorist, terrorist," shouted the flight attendant.
Several passenger heard the remark and bravely tackled the suspect, causing him to shoot a load of projectile diarrea onto the hero passengers. After several minutes, the terrorist was subdued and hog tied to a beverage cart. Soiled passengers were allowed to strip down to their underwear and a second suspect with a bottle of Fabreeze then stood up and sprayed a suspicious mist on the soiled areas of the plane. Hero passengers then subdued the second suspect.
TSP will continue to follow this breaking story.
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