Kennedy's speech asks American to dream big

DENVER, Colo. -- An ailing but pugnacious Senator Edward Kennedy brought the house down in Denver tonight as he symbolically passed the torch from his generation to a new dreamer who wants Americans to believe that fear is not the defining characteristics of our people. His speech almost sounded obsolete or quaint in its tone, after so many years of being bombarded with images and messages from the Bush Administration that ask us to bury our dreams and except less of ourselves and our communities. It is refreshing to see an America that looks to the future with courage.

America has undoubtedly suffered setbacks in recent years, many of them a direct result of failed policies that promote class differences, encourage hate for that which is different and utilize what Naomi Klein calls The Shock Doctrine to mesmerize Americans with cognitive dissonance and Orwellian doublespeak in order to promote government-driven economic polices (masquerading as free market salves)that enrich the rich and impoverish the working poor.

If we dare dream, we can envision a nation that offers health care to all its citizens in an efficient manner that decouples it from the domain of employers (thus aiding our infirm while releasing businesses from unsustainable inflationary costs). Senator Kennedy has been an outspoken supporter of major health care reform for decades, sometimes as lone voice in the wilderness.

We can envision a nation that uses a fraction of the costs used to sustain an unjust war in Iraq to build renewable energy via geothermal, solar and wind technologies that free us from the geopolitical nightmares of the Middle East. The Senator's nephew Robert Kennedy Jr. wrote an essay on CNN.com today that outlines how that can happen, while also jump start entire new classes of high paying jobs for Americans.

We can hope for a sustained rejuvenation of our schools so that every one of our children have the opportunity to look outside beyond the barrios of east Los Angeles and the rusting neighborhoods of Detroit and the lost communities of New Orleans to see a future America that offers them a chance to improve their lives and provide inspiration to their own children. People like my boss California State Senator Jack Scott have been working in the trenches for decades to make a difference on education and an active role from the federal government can help our states and school districts make those critical improvements.

If we dare hope, we can imagine a future for our country where Democrat and Republican, rich and poor, urban and rural, soccer moms and unemployed line workers can all walk down the same street and feel connected to their fellow Americans. I believe we will rise to the occasion. Courage is infectious.

CIA posts rare rebuttal to Iraq accusations

WASHINGTON -- In an almost unprecedented act, the Central Intelligence Agency has released a detailed rebuttal to assertions made by author Ron Suskin, in his new book "The Way of the World," that President Bush ordered former CIA Director George Tenet to fabricate evidence that Saddam Hussein was cooperating with al-Qa'ida to plan attacks against the United States.

The Schadenfreude Post has no additional information on Suskin's assertions but the accusations appear odd, in light of the fact that CIA consistently provided more cautious analyses of Iraq and it alleged connection to terrorism. In fact, civilian neo-conservative analysts working out of the Pentagon frequently clashed with the CIA because the agency refused to distort data to infer WMD and terrorism links with Iraq. Anything is possible, but TSP cautions that more needs to known before we blame CIA for acts that another organization or group might have undertaken.

More signs of pending attack on Iran

WASHINGTON -- As Americans sit mesmerized by the Olympics, the Presidential elections and Britney Spear's new diet, more troubling signs suggest that the Washington Consensus is preparing for an Israeli assault on Iran's nuclear program after the election but before the next president takes office in January.

The neo-conservative laden Defense Policy Board, Advisory Committee is scheduled to meet in September, possibly to lay out ways to prepare the American people for the military and economic costs of another front on the war against Islamic radicalism.

Additionally, Israeli defense website Debka is reporting that the IDF has decided to bomb several Iranian nuclear sites after the November Presidential election in the States but before the inauguration of a new president in January. This will prevent any backlash against the Republicans should complication arise in the execution of the operation but before the theoretical inauguration of a President Obama, who would be expected to take a tougher line on allowing Israel to attack the Iranian program.

Israel, Turkey and U.S. on naval maneuvers

TEL AVIV -- A source in the Israel Defense Forces told The Schadenfreude Post that Israel, Turkey and the U.S. Navy are currently involved in a naval drill in the Mediterranean. The precise location of the maneuvers is not available but several search and rescue helicopters are said to be involved in the drill.

TSP suspects that the exercise could be a cover story to prepare Turkish rescue pilots to extract downed Israeli pilots should IDF use its airspace to bomb Iran's nuclear program sites. Theoretically, Israel could reach Iranian targets by flying north to Turkey and around sensitive airspace (e.g., Jordan, Iraq, Syria).

To succeed, the fighter-bombers would need extensive refueling and logistical support. Turkey is a long-time ally of Israel. Additionally, a massive build-up of Western naval assets are closing in on the Persian Gulf, presumably to provide a deterrent against a retaliatory response from the Revolutionary Guards.

Saudi, Egyptians prepare for Israeli attack on Iran

CAIRO -- The Jerusalem Post is reporting that Egypt and Saudi Arabia may have actionable intelligence about an impending Israeli attack on Iran's nuclear program sites. It is unclear from the report whether the regional Arab power brokers were informed of the possible assault as part of official Western diplomatic sources or their own indigenous intelligence agencies.

In recent years, the Gulf states and Egypt have secretly allied themselves with Israel's objection to Iran's nuclear ambitions. Iran is a majority Shia state with regional hegemonic ambitions for the Middle East. Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Jordan and Egypt, all mainstream Sunni states, are wary of Iran's ambitions and are anxious to see the nuclear program destroyed.

The Schadenfreude Post has reported in recent days that U.S., British and French aircraft carrier and expeditionary forces are massing around the Persian Gulf and could support any Israeli attack on Iran.

TSP will continue to report on this breaking story as conditions permit.

Bush to grant his chainsaw "'merican knighthood"

TBILISI, Georgia -- Military.com reported yesterday on the assent of an Emperor Penguin, from a Scottish zoo, to honorary knighthood in the elite Norwegian King's Guard. Upon hearing of the knighthood, President Bush is reported to have suggested to aides that his sturdy Stihl chainsaw, used to clear brush at his Crawford, Texas range, be granted a comparable honorarium by a U.S. military unit.

A source in the White House told The Schadenfreude Post that the Pentagon is petrified that the President will actually follow through with the results of a "rap session" with Condi (Secretary of State Rice) about ways to cement his place in history. Rice is reported to have advised the president that such an act on behalf of a German commercial product, could be construed as being in bad taste in light of weakness in the domestic home and garden industry. Pentagon aides are drawing up plans just in case.

The Navy reportedly told Secretary of Defense Gates that the Navy's elite SEALS would rather "suck bullets out of an M-4 carbine than to take on the president's chainsaw as a mascot," according to the source. Other branches of the military are just as reticent to take on the chainsaw moniker.

While not officially an American branch of the military, President of Georgia Mikheil Saakashvili has declared in a press release that he "stands tall" with the American President and has always had a fetish for German chainsaws. His presidential bodyguards, recently seen jumping on the Georgian leader and attempting to smother him with body armor after hearing a plane overhead, have offered to wear Stihl baseball caps while on duty in honor of the American "hotrod."

Blogger gunned down in Georgia

NEAR GORI, Georgia -- American blogger (name redacted) was shot today just south of Gori, where Russian paratroopers have just taken the garrison town from dishevelled Georgian troops and irregular reservists. This reporter is bleeding from a gun shot wound to the abdomen, apparently the result of a dispute between two drunk South Ossetians whose chess game turned violent.

As the reporter attempted to move south on foot, several Russian commandos graciously treated his wound with vodka disinfectant and taped pieces of bread to the bullet hole to stem the bleeding. They also beat up two drunk Ossetians for "mistreating the famous American blogger."

Overhead, Su-29s are blasting low across the hills, apparently undeterred by potential Georgian anti-aircraft fire. In the distance, single file lines of Georgian civilians are heading south towards Tibilisi, where government forces are attempting to create a defensive line to protect the capital from almost certain Russian siege.

This reporter is now lying in a ditch, attempting to publish this post as Georgian snipers shoot at advancing Russian 58th Army soldiers. He also has to pee.

Georgia conflict helps prop up oil prices

TIBILISI, Georgia -- Just as the Schadenfreude Post was about to celebrate the free fall of oil prices as a result of slackened demand for energy, the crisis in Georgia has brought a welcome relief to worried oil executives. From Caracas to Moscow, Dallas to Oslo, oil companies and the state pursers who collected oil tax revenues were on the defensive after years of windfall profits.

It is interesting to note that oil profits now seem to be protected by the irrational act of a minor mini-state in the Caucasus mountains. Some analysts might take a more conspiratorial view. TSP reported yesterday that the conflict in Georgia might be related to Western efforts to stop Iran's nuclear program. By ceding Georgia to Russia, it might have allowed the Russians to gracefully pull its advanced anti-aircraft sales to Iran, thereby allowing Israel to bomb the facilities.

By propping up the price of oil, American and European oil companies can continue to enjoy massive profits. Russia's belligerence actually allows its companies to earn extra revenue. Further, should Israel remove Iran's nuclear program, high prices for oil will be an economic salve to the humiliated Mullahs, allowing them to remain in power, albeit without strategic weapons.

Under this scenario, everyone wins... except the dead civilians and American consumers.

Greyhound pulls ads after beheading and cannibalism on coach

TORONTO -- Greyhound executives were forced to scuttle an advertising campaign in Canada that extolled the comforts and relaxation of Greyhound buses after a deranged passenger beheaded a fellow rider and began to eat the carnival worker's body before Mounties disarmed the hungry attacker.

The ad posters, located throughout Canada, read "There's a reason you've never heard of 'bus rage.'" After the attack, the posters just seem a little creepy. Greyhound officials said the posters were supposed to be removed last week but workers had yet to remove them from many terminals.

In other news, Greyhound announced that it will begin offering packaged snacks for all of its long-haul routes. "We want to give our hungry passengers more options that they currently have to sustain themselves on those long trips across the Canadian prairies."

Navy build-up near Iran may presage October Surprise

ABOARD THE USS PELELIU, near the Red Sea -- A massive build-up of U.S., French and British naval power in the Persian Gulf and Arabian Sea could be an precursor to the long anticipated Israeli bombing of Iran's nuclear program facilities. If Israel undertakes the complicated attack, Western navies will stand ready to support the Israelis with refueling, intelligence and and other logistical support. More importantly, for the world economy, the naval forces will prevent the Iranian and Revolutionary Guard from blocking the flow of Persian Gulf oil.

The Schadenfreude Post reported earlier today that events in Georgia could be the manifestation of a deal between Russia and the West to cede Georgia to the Russians in return for allowing the West to deal with Iran's nuclear ambitions.

Implications for the U.S. Presidential elections are indeterminate. However, this plan if actuated, could be the last chance for the Republicans to pull a Hail Mary victory from an exhausted and dispirited American electorate. What the Republican strategists fail to consider are complications, which would undoubtedly follow such an action. TSP hopes saner minds will prevail and the West is saved from a bloody debacle.

Iranian nuclear program at root of Georgian conflict

MOSCOW -- Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili appears to have grossly miscalculated his military's ability to seize the capital of South Ossetia, Tskhinvali, from Russian peace keepers, who have used the territorial dispute to prevent Georgia from integrating into the NATO partnership. Instead, U.S. and European efforts to contain Russian regional influence and control a distribution point for energy supplies that is independent of Russia's state-controlled companies appears to be dramatically set back.

The United States, Israel and Ukraine have been arming and training the Georgian military for several years and American military transports are flying its Iraq contingent back to Tbilisi to defend against a massive, well-planned Russian counter-attack to Georgia's provocations. In the early stages of the conflict, Georgian forces moved into Tskhinvali and slaughtered up to 1,500 civilians and scores of Russian peace keepers.

What is so astounding, besides the senseless slaughter of civilians on both sides of the conflict, is that this outcome was absolutely predictable. If so, why did Saakashvili attack the Russians so viciously, almost inviting a response? The President even admitted to news organizations in recent weeks that the Russians have been massing expeditionary forces on its border for months. He knew that Russians would respond to such provocations. Further, Russian military intelligence agents have pulled the bodies of non-theater combatants from burning Georgian tanks, suggesting that Western nations had a more active hand in the failed campaign. Again, if so, why would the Western alliance assist in a conflict that was guaranteed to fail.

The answer may lie in the Middle East. U.S. and Israeli delegations have met repeatedly with their Russian colleagues over the last several weeks, presumably so the Russians could persuade the Israelis to cease shipments of modern military equipment to Tbilisi. In return, the Russians are reportedly postponing the sale of sophisticated anti-aircraft systems to Iran.

Could the negotiations have gone one step further? What if Russia agreed to postpone weapons shipments to Iran until after January, when a new U.S. president will be sworn in. Without the S-300 systems, U.S. and Israeli fighter-bombers would have uncontested air superiority over Iran's nuclear program sites. Israel would solve the Iran problem and, if the attacks occurred before the elections in the U.S., the Republicans could conceivably have a shot at winning the White House for four more years. There are many "ifs" to this hypothesis but it deserves investigation.

Would the Administration, Israel and NATO sacrifice Georgia in order to accommodate an October Surprise? If regime change flips Iran to a pro-West country, Georgia's pipelines would be less strategically important for the West. Furthermore, the West may be inclined to accept Russian hegemony on its doorstep to lower the alarming tensions that have built up over Russian allegations that the West took advantage of a weakened Slavic nation as it recovered from decades of communism.

As usual, The Schadenfreude Post notes that innocent civilians are once again on the receiving end of international machinations and amoral bullets. It would be nice to see negotiations that lead to peace instead of grandmothers bleeding to death on street corners and the bloated tummies of children in relief camps. Peaceful conflict resolution... now that really would be a surprise.