McCain finally gets an endorsement from Al-Qaida

JERUSALEM -- Senator McCain's sinking poll numbers suggest that he may lose by a bigger margin than any presidential candidate since Senator McGovern's quixotic run in 1972. However, the Jerusalem Post is reporting that a private Maryland intelligence contractor has discovered that Al-Qaida is hoping for a McCain presidency and is willing to back up their endorsement with more than $20 contributions to McCain's campaign fund.

"If al-Qaida carries out a big operation against American interests," the message said, "this act will be support of McCain because it will push the Americans deliberately to vote for McCain so that he takes revenge for them against al-Qaida. Al-Qaida then will succeed in exhausting America till its last year in it."

Whether al-Qaida will carry through with their threat to attack the U.S. in support of their candidate is an open question. Some conspiratorial observers have fretted that Republicans will attempt to undertake an October Surprise to keep possession of the presidency. Is McCain kissing cousins with Bin Laden? We just don't know. Now is the time for Senator McCain to explain his intimate relationship with the hottest terrorist with a dialysis machine.

Some have suggested that McCain was brainwashed by the Communist North Vietnamese while undergoing torture as a prisoner for five years and is now a Manchurian Candidate. What if that was simply a ruse to cover up his true loyalty, to the ultra-right Wahhabi wing of Sunni Islam. The Schadenfreude Post is seeking any additional information from readers about this explosive suggestion. America is at a crossroads. Do we want an angry old man with terrorist sympathies as president or the guy who once sat on a community foundation board with a leftist nut case. It is a tough choice but I think I'll go with the socialist over the terrorist.

Lastly, if an opportune attack on America strikes in the next two weeks, let's all remember cui bono.