Blogger gunned down in Georgia

NEAR GORI, Georgia -- American blogger (name redacted) was shot today just south of Gori, where Russian paratroopers have just taken the garrison town from dishevelled Georgian troops and irregular reservists. This reporter is bleeding from a gun shot wound to the abdomen, apparently the result of a dispute between two drunk South Ossetians whose chess game turned violent.

As the reporter attempted to move south on foot, several Russian commandos graciously treated his wound with vodka disinfectant and taped pieces of bread to the bullet hole to stem the bleeding. They also beat up two drunk Ossetians for "mistreating the famous American blogger."

Overhead, Su-29s are blasting low across the hills, apparently undeterred by potential Georgian anti-aircraft fire. In the distance, single file lines of Georgian civilians are heading south towards Tibilisi, where government forces are attempting to create a defensive line to protect the capital from almost certain Russian siege.

This reporter is now lying in a ditch, attempting to publish this post as Georgian snipers shoot at advancing Russian 58th Army soldiers. He also has to pee.