20 August 2006

Rural communalism sounds kind of cool but please don't make me take a holiday in Cambodia


Since the dawn of humanity, members of our species have gathered together into huddled, shivering masses to fight off marauding predators and create economies of scale which enabled them to develop the arts, trade and complex social structures. The weight of evidence suggests a generally steady progression in the development and complexity of such sociological phenomenon. Occasionally a odd voice in the wilderness has questioned whether we, as a species, should reconsider the wisdom of this upward progression. These voices have generally been marginalized and considered heretical.

For an equally long time, small minorities of people gathered in small clusters to live out alternative lives, away from the tribal elites and their web of social institutions which bound its members into passive worker bees. These small groups took many forms and names over the ages: the Essenes, monastic orders, kibbutzim, communes. I'm speaking mainly here of Western influences but, obviously, Eastern mores often followed this direction in an even more pronounced fashion. While these various groups espoused a broad spectrum of political, religious and philosophical reasons for their behavior and their stated aims, the means they chose to meet those ends are startlingly similar to one another.

Members of such groups mainly swore off earthly pleasures, such as sexual relations, wealth creation and participation in the wider society. What brought such a diverse group of people, in various eras, to the same lifestyle and regimen?

It sounds compelling, this life. However, there is also the dark side. I seem to remember that Pol Pot was all about helping get out of the "decadent" cities for a simpler life. Look where that got the Cambodians.

It's true: Jesus doesn't want me for a sunbeam but Target wants to sell me Sunbeam products


God and I have generally kept a safe distance from one another but recent provocative acts on his part have altered the relationship and forced me to reassess his role in my life. As a child, I quickly became suspicious of the Judeo-Christian notion of an interventionist god who hovered over me, saw all and frowned on naughty acts like lying and masturbation. I could envision a sort of new agey kind of force in the universe, kind of like that Gaia-thing with which women at anti-globalization rallies and women's studies programs seemed to have an infatuation.

But now I'm convinced that God (capital G) does exist. As some of you may be aware, things in my life have not been going particularly well. That would be an understatement. Almost every facet of my life seems to be under assault. I won't go into the details but suffice it to say that things have never been LESS better than now.

As a disclaimer, I would like to note that I accept full responsibility for my actions and note that many of my current problems are directly proportional to my own incompetence with regard to rational decision-making. Further, I fully understand that there are starving children in China that don't have enough to eat (although that old maxim is clearly losing its resonance) and I should be lucky for all the wonderful things that God has given me, such as an incredible son, several dollars worth of quarters and a blog.

I suspect that God is rubbing my nose in the dirt. I really want to know WHY but I think I already know the answer. He does it because he can, just like run-of-the-mill school yard bullies, dictators and pimps.

The catalyst that finally brought everything into place was a small but important event that happened yesterday. Taken alone, it was insignificant. But viewed in the context of my tenuous existence, it was profound. It had to do with an ATM machine that wasn't working properly and failed to relinquish $100 but still debited my account for the amount. Ultimately it was a minor event. It will all be resolved in a few days. However, it caused me to reconsider everything.

My first response upon having the act perpetrated on me was to find a quiet spot to do some primal screaming. Unfortunately, none could be found. The closest location was the men's room at my office and someone was having more serious problems than I in one of the stalls. Therefore, I did what any red-blooded American does when he needs a place to contemplate the meaning of existence--I wandered the Housewares section of Target.

As I reverently observed the sublime colors of Target's wonderful collection of casual dinnerware and the sacred geometry of its glass and aluminum side tables, it occurred to me that perhaps my circumstances weren't simply a product of my rational failings or the emotional roller coaster that regularly takes me from blissful, unrealistic expectations to dark, unrelenting resignation in a matter of hours. No, something else was surely at work here.

A lesser person than me would deflect blame from him or herself and cast it on some unsuspecting earthly force, such as people who look or act differently than themselves or an uncaring capitalistic society or even fate. Not me.

I now know that God is actually and proximately the cause of my woes. Somewhere up there God is chatting with Jesus, Moses, Muhammad and Buddha (and I'm pretty sure with L. Ron Hubbard too) about how they are going to make the little earthlings like me suffer. I just happened to get on their radar screens and, well, I think they want me to cry uncle.

It ain't gonna happen. While I acknowledge the existence of God, I refuse to bow down. Not now, not ever.

[Editor's note: Mr. Dodson reserves the right to submit to God or any of God's assigns at a moment's notice should such an act be deemed beneficial to him. Further, The Schadenfreude Post does not endorse Mr. Dodson's opinions and wholeheartedly believes that God is a benevolent supreme being.]

19 August 2006

Israel and Hezbollah learn the cost of being proxies


When the current round of hostilities engulfed the Israel-Lebanon border in flames these past few weeks, the foreign ministries of the world fell into two broad camps: those who saw a unique opportunity to quickly neutralize a potent anti-Western political force in the region and those who reflexively defended the actions of an actor who was plainly a proxy for the Revolutionary Guard in Iran.

Both warring parties clearly miscalculated. However, if one digs deeper into the nuances of the chatter coming from various foreign policy quarters, it is now becoming clear that both of the belligerent’s sponsors, the United States and Iran have an endgame that actually required both of the warring parties to miscalculate. Here's why.

The United States has actively worked to rid Lebanon of Syrian and Iranian influences for many months. Our diplomatic maneuvering following the assassination of Rafik Hariri deftly brought about the removal of Syria's military and intelligence assets. That left Hezbollah and its Iranian sponsor as the last hurdle to establishing a stable, pro-Western friend to the north of Israel. The removal of Hezbollah from Lebanon would also weaken Iran as we sought to tighten the diplomatic noose on Iran's nuclear program.

The Israelis had been planning the current military campaign for months. They simply needed a pretext to initiate the campaign to eliminate their last "hot" border. If successful, it would have provided the nation with a level of security not seen since its formation as a nation state. The Bush administration, sensing that the time was right, placated the Israelis with visions of a lightning victory and rose pedals falling on triumphant tank crews from the grateful citizens from Tyre to Sidon. And so, the Israelis initiated a massive air campaign to destroy the few thousand rudimentary Katyushas known to be possessed by the militia to be followed several weeks later by a mopping up campaign to root out the last few Shiite militiamen who might survive the air war.

Two things happened that changed the equation.

First, Hezbollah possessed two secret weapons which neutralized Israel's vast military superiority. The Hezbollah missile arsenal was far greater in size and scope, and protected from air assault, than Israel's intelligence agencies had predicted. Essentially, Hezbollah possessed a strategic weapon that had the capacity to disrupt the economy and security of the northern third of Israel for months. Unfortunately for both Hezbollah and Israel (not to mention the civilians of Israel and Lebanon) a strategic weapon is only useful as a deterrent if your opponent knows you possess your weapon and understands its ability to inflict harm to your interests. Hezbollah failed to properly “educate” the Israelis about the capacity of its arsenal and the IDF analytical eye glazed over with a jaundiced belief in the myth of its invincibility. This lapse of judgment was no doubt influenced by the fact that Israeli forces had become complacent by years of “soft” conflict with the vastly inferior Palestinian militias.

Second, Hezbollah had taken possession of hundreds, if not thousands of sophisticated Russian and French anti-armor weapons which eviscerated the IDF’s ability to follow up its air campaign with an overwhelming ground response without suffering vast battlefield losses. This fear prevented the army from quickly moving in to neutralize the missile threat when air power alone proved inadequate. Some of these anti-tank missiles certainly came from Iranian warehouses. Others came from unknown sources. Ironically, the Israelis were themselves saved from possible extinction during the Yom Kippur (or Ramadan) War when the Nixon Administration secretly flew hundreds of cutting edge TOW missiles to Israel as its infantry were in the process of being overwhelmed by Syrian tank forces. The deliveries were decisive in turning the course of the war on the Northern front.

It is important to note that Hezbollah possessed other advanced weapons (such as Chinese Silkworm anti-ship missiles) which were useful but not critical to altering the strategic military balance.

Next, as a result of the gross incompetence of the IDF general staff to anticipate the threats and their inability to develop a timely response plan, the IDF was left with the unimaginative and self-defeating response of leveling Shiite civilian neighborhoods to “punish” Lebanon for allowing Hezbollah to exist. This, of course, created international outrage and ultimately forced the hand of the Bush Administration to bring things to a rather awkward stalemate.

On the surface, the current ceasefire and planned infusion of a robust French military force at the border, appears to be a piecemeal and ad hoc response to an unpredicted outcome. However, some foreign policy moderates have long called for the infusion of a strong multi-national force to be inserted between the warring parties at the border. The Israelis refused because they believed that such a force would hamper their ability of operate with impunity in the affairs of their northern neighbor. Additionally, the Israelis have long been wary of the role of France in the affairs of Lebanon, which has cultural ties to the region dating back to the Crusades and has not been particularly friendly with the Jewish state since the halcyon days of cooperation in the 1950s (e.g., Suez crisis, Algeria and nuclear research cooperation). Now, we see a situation developing in which the Israelis are acquiescing to a strong force on their northern border which will realize both fears. One wonders what role other Western nations played in helping “convince” the Israelis to accept the current UN mandate.

The Israelis were certainly not the only ones to miscalculate. Hezbollah likely envisioned their daring raid into Israel proper to capture two soldiers as a “message” to the Israelis and Americans that they still controlled Lebanon and to raise their popularity with the Sunni-led Hamas movement in the Territories. They expected a hard-hitting but limited Israeli response.

It is unlikely that their Iranian sponsors were as miscalculating. All out war between Hezbollah and the IDF served Iranian interests in several ways. It demonstrated that Iran has the wherewithal to strike against Western interests in powerful ways should the United States move towards a military solution to the Iranian nuclear issue. It demonstrated that current Iranian military hardware and Revolutionary Guard asymmetric battle tactics can be effective against the overwhelming air superiority of a Western military. Lastly, it was likely intended as a wake up call to American military forces in Iraq that the currently sedate Shiite population could turn into a potent threat to the our military in that country should we attempt to use Iraq as a launching ground against Iranian nuclear facilities. The Iranian mullahs may have decided it may have been an acceptable loss to lose Hezbollah if it meant protecting their own strategic interests, namely to remain in power and to field a nuclear deterrent force.

What are we to make of such developments if my assertions are accurate? Perhaps it is this: being a proxy for someone else has its privileges but they come at a very heavy cost.